Equality in Sweden

Nowhere in the world is the word "equality" so used in debates and newspapers as in Sweden. The reason? We have the most equal social system in the world, right? Or do we???

First of all we have to look at equality in a historical sense to understand where all this is coming from. And I am talking about equality between the sexes now, just to make that clear. We've been debating equality since the early 1970's, when women in Sweden as well as in the rest of the civilized world started to demand the same rights as men. The struggle to win territory has been going on since then, but the problem that has come up is how to define equality and what kind of equality efforts are positive and which are negative.

For instance (and how it has been widely recieved):
• Feministic people/parties in Sweden have for a long time tried to create laws to force the father in a family to be home more with the children. The plan is to 1) give the kids more time with their dad AND 2) make women more attractive on the job market, since they don't have to be home for as long. (NEGATIVE)
• In Sweden we try to ensure that men and women are paid the same for identical jobs regardless of their sex. (POSITIVE)
• We have ensured that fashion is more unisex and it is today looked upon as very unequal to encourage women to dress sexy, both at work and in their spare time. (NEGATIVE)
• The Swedish government has given women the right to vote in state elections (POSITIVE)
• Swedish women have tought their men to iron, wash, clean, cook etc in order to make the work at home moree equal (POSITIVE)
• Swedish social politics have enabled woman to work outside the house and earn an income (POSITIVE)
• Swedish social politics have made it impossible for a woman to work at home if she wants to. We are dependant on double incomes to survive! (NEGATIVE)
• The laws have forbidden sexual harassment at work and other social functions. (POSITIVE)

So as you see there are both pros and cons with this equality plan. What I react against is among other things the neutralization of the sexes. It reveals itself in style and fashion and the way we treat each other. If you are on a date in sweden with a girl it is expected of you to pay for your meal and your theatre ticket. The
girl will pay for hers. In the name of equality! If you pass a door you are not expected to hold the door for a lady, because she is fully capable of holding the door herself. In the name of equality! If you buy a girl a present it had better not be something sexy or something over feminine, like underwear or - god help us - kitchen stuff. In the name of equality!

WAIT! It is ok to buy jewels for some reason. Probably because they are worth money!

So as you see life in Sweden, as a guy, very quickly becomes a bit boring because we are not allowed to celebrate the women around us for just being women, because that would be sexist. We are not allowed to worship female figures for what they are, because then we "objectify" women. I think this is sad because God was an a very good mood the day he created women and I don't understand why women can't be allowed to be female, and feminine. It sort of takes away the fun. Why is it so wrong with gender roles?!

I am all for equality when it comes to same income, same rights, same treatment, but I HATE IT when it comes to social behaviour. And I hate the limits that we have created for the different laws surrounding equality and sexual harassment for instance. Today it is very easy for a woman in Sweden to get a guy at work fired. All she has to do is say that she has felt like a sexual object and the guy is gone. So it never goes as far as to having to prove physical contact or anything. Just feeling harassed is enough, and you can't defend yourself against that, as a dude.

Today we no longer give each other compliments at work, out of fear of getting sued for sexual harassment. How sick is that? I am afraid to tell my co-workers that they look good in a new dress or something, because I don't want to get charged for it. I think this is stupid. Of course there should be a line drawn at where compliments turn into harassment, but it sure as hell doesn't go at giving one nice compliment. Sometimes you just want to be nice, but no no!

I have never experienced a case of sexual harassment myself, so that is not why I might come off as a bitter old grump, but I have had an aquaintance who had to quit his job because of it. He might have crossed the line, from a female point of view, I don't know. But I think that what he did didn't call for a sexual harassment law suite. He complimented a female co-worker a couple of times and then sent off an email telling her that he thought she looked great and wondered if she wanted to go out on a date with him... Maybe not in those exact words though.

THAT'S FLIRTING! Not sexually harassing someone!

Another example is when psycologists and behavioural scientists tell parents not to dress their little boys in blue and the girls in pink and definitely not give cars to the little boy and dolls to the girl. All this in order to not mold the kids into these gender roles. On the contrary they tell us to give the guy a pink room, and see to that the girls play with cars... What is the point with that?

I believe that boys are boys and girls are girls. We both have different, but just as strong and important, qualities, that need to be used, not surpressed! There are certain things in life than are geared towards a certain sex, like giving birth for example. A man just can't do that, but you sometimes get the feeling here in Sweden that feminists here would like to see a law that forces 50% of all children to be born by men.

So I believe that we have taken the laws of equality to point of absurdity, where we can no longer function properly as two sexes in the span of the universe. If this development continues we'll be looking at a breed of non-sexual, unisexual beings in a couple of centuries not able to reproduce due to lack of interest in each other. Why love the other sex if it is just the same as myself?!

So...keep up the good work and be sure to put proper pants on!

/ Andy